It’s not inherently bad to feel flattered by compliments, Zar says. It only becomes a problem when external validation starts to affect the way you feel about yourself. “It becomes unhealthy when it feels as though you’re relying on how many messages or matches you get to dictate your entire self worth,” she says. “Self-esteem that’s determined by the opinions of others is precarious; it can just as easily be given to us as it is taken away.” You should have confidence in yourself regardless of how others feel about you – otherwise, swiping through dating apps might feel like putting a Band-Aid over a deeper wound. It helps momentarily, but it doesn’t actually combat your insecurities.

Tracie was onto something, according to Zar: Seeking out validation can sometimes get in the way of finding a healthy relationship

It’s not inherently bad to feel flattered by compliments. It only becomes a problem when external validation starts to affect the way you feel about yourself.

Tracie, 24, found herself in this predicament when she was trying to get over an ex. “My coping mechanism to deal with a breakup would be to distract myself with getting back on the apps instead of just dealing and healing my emotions first,” she Latin Woman Love Г© itcreal tells Elite Daily. “I would quickly get back onto the apps and find myself a rebound … but it didn’t work! ” She ultimately decided she needed to stop until she had healed from the split on her own. “I definitely was using the apps as a crutch to make me feel like I was still worthy,” she says. “If I keep bringing all the lingering vibes from my last relationship without clearing them, I’m not going to be able to fully commit to another person and be capable of having a healthy relationship. (더 보기…)